Putting Me First

A couple of years ago, I noticed that my energy was low, and I didn’t have the energy to do many things that I loved. My emotions were all over the place, to the point that I didn’t recognize myself. Nothing like this had ever happened to me, so I didn’t know how to describe it, but I knew that something was off. I didn’t feel as confident as I once did. 

I finally realized that I was empty and depleted. How do you get to the point?

For most of my life, I have always put the needs of others before my own. “People pleasing”, maybe or trying to fill an empty void by giving to others what I wanted to receive in return.

Growing up in church I would always hear,  “ Love your neighbor as thyself” Mathew 22:39  Heavy on the love of your neighbor. We were never taught how to love ourselves first. You can’t love your neighbor or anyone else when you don’t love who you are first.

As I am on this journey to finding myself again, I am putting myself first.

In a world that often celebrates selflessness and putting others first, it’s easy to feel guilty for focusing on your own needs. Whether it’s work, family obligations, or societal expectations, many of us are conditioned to think that our well-being should always come last. However, this constant cycle of self-neglect can leave us feeling drained, overwhelmed, and disconnected from our true selves.

The truth is, putting yourself first is not an act of selfishness, but one of self-preservation. When you prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental health, you’re not only investing in your own well-being but also enhancing your ability to show up for others in a meaningful way. Imagine trying to pour from an empty cup—without replenishing yourself, you have nothing left to give. What is inside the cup is for you and what flows outside the cup is for everyone else.

By putting yourself first, you create a foundation of strength, clarity, and resilience. This doesn’t mean ignoring your responsibilities or abandoning your commitments; rather, it means recognizing that your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s. When you take the time to care for yourself, you become better equipped to handle the demands of daily life, nurture your relationships, and pursue your passions with renewed energy.

The benefits of putting yourself first:

1. Improved Mental Health:
   Prioritizing your needs reduces stress and anxiety, leading to a more peaceful state of mind.

2. Enhanced Physical Health:
   Taking time for self-care encourages healthier habits, such as regular exercise, proper sleep, and balanced nutrition.

3. Increased Productivity:
   When you feel recharged and focused, you’re more effective and efficient in all areas of life.

4. Better Relationships:
   When you take care of yourself, you show up as your best version, allowing you to nurture healthier connections with others.

5. Greater Confidence and Self-Worth:
   Valuing your time and needs reinforces a sense of self-respect and boosts your confidence.

I know that it is sometimes easier said than done. As you begin to prioritize your needs first it will become easier.  Putting you first is a way of living.

Here are some steps that you can take to put yourself first.

1. Identify Your Needs and Priorities:
   Reflect on what truly matters to you. Whether it’s time for relaxation, pursuing a hobby, or personal growth, knowing your priorities helps you focus.

2. Set Boundaries:
   Learn to say no without guilt. Setting clear boundaries protects your time and energy.

3. Schedule “Me Time”:
   Treat self-care as a non-negotiable appointment in your calendar. Whether it’s a 10-minute meditation, a morning walk, or a relaxing bath, make it part of your routine.

4. Practice Self-Compassion:
   Replace self-criticism with kindness. Acknowledge your efforts and give yourself grace when things don’t go as planned.

5. Delegate and Ask for Help:
   You don’t have to do everything yourself. Let others support you in managing tasks and responsibilities.

6. Focus on Health:
   Physical well-being directly impacts mental health. Prioritize exercise, nutritious meals, and adequate sleep.

7. Celebrate Small Wins:
   Recognize and celebrate even the smallest efforts to prioritize yourself. This reinforces positive behavior.

Remember you are enough and you are worthy of the love that you seek and give to others by first giving it to yourself.

Self-love is the best love!